I’m Sorry, So Sorry: How To Show Your Regret

In our book, When Sorry Isn’t Enough, Gary Chapman and I talk about five essential parts of an apology. Our apology survey showed that the evidence of sincerity in apologies differs from person to person. In this blog post, I’ll examine one of our languages of apology in detail. Apology Language #1: Expressing Regret Read More » When Sorry Isn’t Enough.

Resolve to Keep Your Marriage on Track in the New Year

What does it take to have happy, healthy relationships? Do you treat your family members as well as you treat others in your life? Maddie is a mother of two grown daughters and one step-son. She and Nathan have been married for 10 years. They have little joy in their marriage but they are committed to staying together for the long haul. Read More »

Two Simple Things Your Relationships Need For Survival

Gary Chapman is well known as “The Love Language Man.” His New York Times book, The Five Love Languages, selling over 9 million copies, has become a classic. To have blissful relationships, showing love is a must.  To have happy friends and co-workers, showing appreciation is essential. Recently, Dr. Chapman has embraced a second necessary ingredient for healthy relationships: dealing with offenses through apologies and forgiveness.  In May, Gary Chapman and I released When Sorry Isn’t Enough, which tells readers how to make things right with anyone. We believe that these two books fit together like a hand in a glove. Both sets of tools are needed to make relationships work.  Read More »

What to Say When… You are Really, Truly Sorry

In our book, When Sorry Isn’t Enough, Gary Chapman and I talk about five essential parts of any apology. In this blog post, I’ll talk in detail about our first Apology Language: Expressing Regret. Regret focuses on what you did or failed to do and how it affected the other person. The offended one is hurt, and they want to know that you “get it.”  Beyond saying, “I am sorry”, what else can you do? An apology has no impact unless it’s specific.  Read More »

My Interview with Lynne Ford

Today, I spent a super-enjoyable hour talking about the book I co-authored with Gary Chapman, When Sorry Isn’t Enough with Lynne Ford of WBCL radio. I talked with her about how to give a complete apology, what to do when you want an apology from someone else, how to teach children to apologize and more. I […]

How Gary Chapman Discovered What to Say… When Sorry Isn’t Enough

In the introduction to “When Sorry Isn’t Enough”, Gary Chapman describes the path to the development of our new book. Other authors have talked about the components of a good apology but none have zeroed in on the powerful scripts others have in mind when we try to apologize to them. Here is his “Aha” […]

How I First Learned What to Say… When Sorry Isn’t Enough

I’m often asked how I came up with the new concepts in “When Sorry Isn’t Enough”. I co-authored this book with Gary Chapman and it was released in May 2013. Here is an interview in which I answered that question: How did the idea of an apology language first come to your mind? During my six years of graduate training in clinical psychology at the University of Maryland, I made note cards about lessons I learned that might help my future clients. On these cards, I listed may Bible verses and quotes about conflict, forgiveness, grief, marriage, parenting, etc. Ten years ago, I made a note card that listed several different parts of an apology. At that time, I only had three parts of an apology, but I added to the list over the years and finally arrived at our five parts of an apology. Read More »