You said you were sorry.

Maybe even twice.

You meant it, too — no defensiveness, no excuses, just a sincere apology straight from the heart.

And yet… something still feels off.

The tension hasn’t lifted. The distance is still there. They nodded, said “okay,” and changed the subject. And now you're left wondering:What else could I possibly say?

Here’s the truth most people miss: apologies fall flat when they’re not in the right language.

Not spoken language— but emotional language.

Just like we each have a preferred love language, we also have a preferred way we need to hear “I’m sorry.” And if someone doesn’t speak your language — even if they’re trying — it might not land at all.

That’s why I co-authoredThe 5 Apology Languages™ with Dr. Gary Chapman — to give people the tools to reconnect, repair, and rebuild trust when words alone aren’t enough.

Through my years of clinical practice and personal experience, I found that healing conversations don’t happen by accident — they happen when we become fluent in what the other person needs to hear.

So if your apology didn’t “work,” maybe it’s not about effort — maybe it’s about alignment.

This month, consider revisiting how you say you're sorry. Because when someone hears what they truly need — everything can change.