Gary Chapman, my co-author.

Insider Scoop: My Focus on the Family Interview with Dr. Gary Chapman

Published on April 4, 2014 | Leave a response

A while back, Gary Chapman and I traveled to Colorado Springs for a taping of their daily broadcast. Here are some of my behind the scenes memories: During the session, the interviewers asked some great questions about the five languages of apology. Gary and I have developed a rapport for interviews like this. Generally, we take turns giving the answers. If we have something to add to the other’s answer, we lift a finger or point to ourselves. When we are asked about teaching kids to apologize, Gary usually points to me and I step in to answer because I have young kids. When theological questions pop up, I point to Gary because he’s a pastor. [linkback]

The Five Love Languages on Oprah’s Lifeclass

Published on January 23, 2014 | Leave a response

One year ago this week, I had the privilege of sitting in on the taping of an Oprah Lifeclass in Chicago. Her featured guest was my friend and co-author, Gary Chapman. Here are some ways to use the five love languages to enrich all types of relationships. These are based on Gary Chapman’s “Practically Speaking” articles: Words Of Affirmation

Buy a pack of sticky notes. Leave at least one encouraging note a day where your loved one will notice. Comment on something you appreciate about them, something they did, or in relation to who they are. The more specific the message the better. (Relationship: Marriage, Family)
Think about a goal, dream, or accomplishment that your loved one may be putting off because they feel inadequate. Use your affirming words to en-courage them (instill courage). Tell them you think they can do it; accomplish it; be it. These simple words could boost their confidence and help them reach their potential. (Relationship: Marriage, Family)

Acts Of Service [linkback]

Two Simple Things Your Relationships Need For Survival

Published on December 10, 2013 | Leave a response

Gary Chapman is well known as “The Love Language Man.” His New York Times book, The Five Love Languages, selling over 9 million copies, has become a classic. To have blissful relationships, showing love is a must. To have happy friends and co-workers, showing appreciation is essential. Recently, Dr. Chapman has embraced a second necessary ingredient for healthy relationships: dealing with offenses through apologies and forgiveness. In May, Gary Chapman and I released When Sorry Isn’t Enough, which tells readers how to make things right with anyone. We believe that these two books fit together like a hand in a glove. Both sets of tools are needed to make relationships work. [linkback]

On Making Things Right With Those You Love

Published on August 26, 2013 | 1 Response

Has a friend sent you a critical message? I call those “email bombs” or “text bombs.” That’s not a fun way to start the day. Is your sweetheart giving you the cold shoulder? I can relate to it all.

Ten years ago, my husband and I had an argument. It was a run of the mill spat, but the timing of the argument was rather embarrassing. You see, we were going to lead a seminar for young couples the following day. What was our lecture topic? Conflict resolution. As they say, “timing is everything,” so we had some fresh material for our class. [linkback]

How Gary Chapman Discovered What to Say… When Sorry Isn’t Enough

Published on July 24, 2013 | Leave a response

In the introduction to “When Sorry Isn’t Enough”, Gary Chapman describes the path to the development of our new book…. read more

How I First Learned What to Say… When Sorry Isn’t Enough

Published on July 17, 2013 | Leave a response

I’m often asked how I came up with the new concepts in “When Sorry Isn’t Enough”. I co-authored this book with Gary Chapman and it was released in May 2013. Here is an interview in which I answered that question: How did the idea of an apology language first come to your mind? During my six years of graduate training in clinical psychology at the University of Maryland, I made note cards about lessons I learned that might help my future clients. On these cards, I listed may Bible verses and quotes about conflict, forgiveness, grief, marriage, parenting, etc. Ten years ago, I made a note card that listed several different parts of an apology. At that time, I only had three parts of an apology, but I added to the list over the years and finally arrived at our five parts of an apology. [linkback]

Three Things Forgiveness Cannot Do

Published on March 17, 2013 | Leave a response

Forgiveness Does Not Heal Everything. We often have the mistaken idea that forgiveness will heal everything. Let me share three things that forgiveness does not do. (1) Forgiveness does not remove all the consequences of wrong doing. The father who abandons his children may repent ten years later, but forgiveness does not restore the ten years of void. [linkback]

Gary Chapman

© 2013 Dr. Jennifer Thomas. All Rights Reserved.