In our book, When Sorry Isn’t Enough, Gary Chapman and I talk about five essential parts of an apology. Our apology survey showed that the evidence of sincerity in apologies differs from person to person. In this blog post, I’ll examine one of our languages of apology in detail. Apology Language #1: Expressing Regret [linkback] When Sorry Isn’t Enough.
What does it take to have happy, healthy relationships? Do you treat your family members as well as you treat others in your life? Maddie is a mother of two grown daughters and one step-son. She and Nathan have been married for 10 years. They have little joy in their marriage but they are committed to staying together for the long haul. [linkback]
Gary Chapman is well known as “The Love Language Man.” His New York Times book, The Five Love Languages, selling over 9 million copies, has become a classic. To have blissful relationships, showing love is a must. To have happy friends and co-workers, showing appreciation is essential. Recently, Dr. Chapman has embraced a second necessary ingredient for healthy relationships: dealing with offenses through apologies and forgiveness. In May, Gary Chapman and I released When Sorry Isn’t Enough, which tells readers how to make things right with anyone. We believe that these two books fit together like a hand in a glove. Both sets of tools are needed to make relationships work. [linkback]
In our book, When Sorry Isn’t Enough, Gary Chapman and I talk about five essential parts of any apology. In this blog post, I’ll talk in detail about our first Apology Language: Expressing Regret. Regret focuses on what you did or failed to do and how it affected the other person. The offended one is hurt, and they want to know that you “get it.” Beyond saying, “I am sorry”, what else can you do? An apology has no impact unless it’s specific. [linkback]
Today, I spent a super-enjoyable hour talking about the book I co-authored with Gary Chapman, When Sorry Isn’t Enough with Lynne… read more
In the introduction to “When Sorry Isn’t Enough”, Gary Chapman describes the path to the development of our new book…. read more
I’m often asked how I came up with the new concepts in “When Sorry Isn’t Enough”. I co-authored this book with Gary Chapman and it was released in May 2013. Here is an interview in which I answered that question: How did the idea of an apology language first come to your mind? During my six years of graduate training in clinical psychology at the University of Maryland, I made note cards about lessons I learned that might help my future clients. On these cards, I listed may Bible verses and quotes about conflict, forgiveness, grief, marriage, parenting, etc. Ten years ago, I made a note card that listed several different parts of an apology. At that time, I only had three parts of an apology, but I added to the list over the years and finally arrived at our five parts of an apology. [linkback]