I’m Just Not Feeling It. Why So Many Apologies Fall Flat

Before Gary Chapman and I wrote When Sorry Isn’t Enough, we asked 400 people what they look for in sincere apologies.  We found that their answers fell into these five categories (we call them ‘apology languages’):

  • Apology Language #1: Expressing Regret I am sorry.”
  • Apology Language #2: Accepting Responsibility I was wrong.”
  • Apology Language #3: Restitution-Making Amends What can I do to make it right?”
  • Apology Language #4: Genuinely Repenting I want to change.”
  • Apology Language #5: Requesting Forgiveness Will You Please Forgive me?”
Read More »

Two Simple Things Your Relationships Need For Survival

Gary Chapman is well known as “The Love Language Man.” His New York Times book, The Five Love Languages, selling over 9 million copies, has become a classic. To have blissful relationships, showing love is a must.  To have happy friends and co-workers, showing appreciation is essential. Recently, Dr. Chapman has embraced a second necessary ingredient for healthy relationships: dealing with offenses through apologies and forgiveness.  In May, Gary Chapman and I released When Sorry Isn’t Enough, which tells readers how to make things right with anyone. We believe that these two books fit together like a hand in a glove. Both sets of tools are needed to make relationships work.  Read More »

Dennis Hooper’s Leadership Article on Trust

I’m passing along an article from Leadership Coach Dennis Hooper.  He has great ideas for organizations on his website:  Building Future Leaders. What betrayals of trust have you seen at work?  Were apologies offered?  Received? Betrayal of Trust—How to Recover by Dennis Hooper, copyright © 2009, published in the Houston Home Journal on November 14, […]

Buzz about Toyota’s Apologies

Toyota has begun to offer apologies for their accelerator problems that are the focus of an unprecedented recall and sales stoppage.  Jim Lentz, president and chief operating officer of Toyota’s U.S. sales said, “First, I want to sincerely apologize to Toyota owners, …I know that our recalls have caused many of you concern and for […]

E-mail Errors

I exchanged these emails with Dennis Hooper, a business leader: ********************************************************* On Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 12:29 PM, Dennis Hooper <dhooper2@juno.com> wrote: Dear friends– I apologize deeply that I errantly delivered a personal e-mail to you.  I do not know how it occurred, but I’m sure that something I did caused the problem.  I […]

Medical Apologies in the New York Times

An interesting article by Natasha Singer about medical apologies appeared over the weekend in the New York Times.  The article makes reference to these groups and issues: The innovative Sorry Works! coalition The U. of Michigan Health System’s success in preventing lawsuits by apologizing Failures by drug companies Eli Lilly and Pfizer to fully apologize […]

Medical Mistakes: The Savage Family on The Today Show

Yet another heartbreaking story of a medical mistake has hit the media.  Carolyn Savage of Ohio has successfully delivered a baby who was conceived through an embryo mix-up.  My heart goes out to all of the people who are directly affected by this tragedy.  While news stories have only briefly touched on the mistake by […]