What to Say When… He Is Uninvolved at Home

Saturday rolled around, and Ashley needed some help. All week, she had balanced work, the kids, and a long To-Do list. Her husband, Ryan, had a busy week, too. But, she was hoping he’d lend a hand with their weekend activities. Frustrated, she found Ryan sitting in his man cave watching sports. How could he just sit there for hours when she was so overwhelmed? What Doesn’t Work: Boiling inside while your partner is uninvolved and oblivious to the problem. Most couples have different levels of energy and different priorities. Accusing one another of being in the wrong without understanding their perspective can backfire. Don’t assume that your spouse is too lazy or too uptight. Mutual solutions are found when both parties openly express their needs.

Dear Hurting One

Read More » Dear hurting wife one, Your family should not have mistreated you. Your home should be your castle, a place in which you feel safe and protected. A man has violated your trust. Whether it was a relative who abused you or a husband who left you, your pain is unimaginable.

Three Questions That Could Save Your Job

It’s inevitable that you’ll find yourself cross-wise with someone at work. When that happens, here is my advice. These questions will serve to give you time to think, information about their complaint/s, and your listening just might help them to calm down. What many people really need is a good listening to. Read More »

The Five Love Languages on Oprah’s Lifeclass

One year ago this week, I had the privilege of sitting in on the taping of an Oprah Lifeclass in Chicago. Her featured guest was my friend and co-author, Gary Chapman. Here are some ways to use the five love languages to enrich all types of relationships. These are based on Gary Chapman’s “Practically Speaking” articles: Words Of Affirmation

  • Buy a pack of sticky notes. Leave at least one encouraging note a day where your loved one will notice. Comment on something you appreciate about them, something they did, or in relation to who they are. The more specific the message the better. (Relationship: Marriage, Family)
  • Think about a goal, dream, or accomplishment that your loved one may be putting off because they feel inadequate. Use your affirming words to en-courage them (instill courage). Tell them you think they can do it; accomplish it; be it. These simple words could boost their confidence and help them reach their potential. (Relationship: Marriage, Family)

Acts Of Service Read More »

All Mom Wants for the Holidays is For You to Turn off Your *!#*#@* Cell Phone

Dear child of mine, I want to sit down and catch up with you. I want to be the most important person for you to visit with today. I don’t want to look at the top of your head while you work on your laptop or check the status of others on Facebook. Please be all here when you are with me. If you must pull out your phone, I’d prefer for you to briefly manage your business in another room then return to join in completely. If I could have one wish today, it would be for us to enjoy a conversation so deep that you would not want to pick up your security blanket.  Read More »

Dear Mom, You’re Fired

Dear Mom,

I want to thank you for all you’ve done for me. You gave birth to me and you raised me with loving care. A person couldn’t ask for a better mom than you.

However, I’m  firing you. You’ve brilliantly worked yourself out of a job and I’m fully grown now.  I’m thirty years old but you treat me like I’m only ten. “Do this.” “Don’t do that.” You offer reminders at every turn this feels like control more than support and I don’t think you intend this.  Read More »

How to Stay Out Of the “Dog House”

Have you ever been put in the “dog house” without fair notice? Do you find that your housemates, friends, or team members are mad at you for not doing something that either was not on your radar screen or was not as urgent as they seemed to think it was? Read More »