Welcome to my blog. I’m a psychologist and the co-author (with Gary Chapman) of When Sorry Isn’t Enough. I share tips about What to Say When challenging conversations arise and I welcome your thoughts and questions. I’ll check back in frequently to chime in on the conversations here.
What do you need to know in order to apologize well? As we have talked about our own successes and failures in apologizing, my husband and I have realized that we have different “apology languages.” Those who are familiar with the work of Dr. Gary Chapman in The Five Love Languages will recognize this concept of “languages.” Dr. Chapman’s premise is that many relationship problems stem from miscommunication. Specifically, he recommends that in order to be heard by others, we need to speak not in our natural language, but in the language of the listener.
How do apology languages work? Have you ever tried to apologize, only to be rebuffed? It may be that you were offering a partial apology in a “language” that was foreign to your listener.
Click here to read more of what I shared with them about apology languages. I’m featuring Inheritance of Hope today because I’ve had the privilege of serving as a counselor with them on numerous trips to Disneyworld.
Here’s a bit of the charity’s history: After being diagnosed with a rare terminal illness in 2003, Kristen Milligan searched for children’s literature to help her children — Ashlea (then four years old), Luke (two), and Rebecca (seven months). Unable to find anything that met their needs, she decided to write her own book. The result was A Train’s Rust, A Toy Maker’s Love, the story of a train family whose mother begins to rust, prompting questions of the toy maker about what will happen next.
Kristen endured her disease for nearly ten years, including six surgeries, twenty-two months of chemotherapy, two rounds of radiation, and two more books. She died on October 26, 2012. Kristen and her husband, Deric, expanded the concept in May 2007 by founding Inheritance of Hope, a 501(c)3 nonprofit charity with the vision that “Every Family Deserves a Legacy.”® The organization began selling Kristen’s books, and in August 2008 Inheritance of Hope hosted its first all-expenses-paid Legacy Retreat® in New York.
Author of The Five Love Languages
Moving Forward: Inheritance of Hope continues to expand its offerings to young families facing the life-threatening illness of a parent.
Click here to watch a brief, inspirational video by the charity’s late founder, Kristin.
Talk About It:
Do you know someone who has waited until it’s too late to work out a dispute?
Who do you really cherish and plan to reach out to today?