What to Say When… He Is Uninvolved at Home

Saturday rolled around, and Ashley needed some help. All week, she had balanced work, the kids, and a long To-Do list. Her husband, Ryan, had a busy week, too. But, she was hoping he’d lend a hand with their weekend activities. Frustrated, she found Ryan sitting in his man cave watching sports. How could he just sit there for hours when she was so overwhelmed? What Doesn’t Work: Boiling inside while your partner is uninvolved and oblivious to the problem. Most couples have different levels of energy and different priorities. Accusing one another of being in the wrong without understanding their perspective can backfire. Don’t assume that your spouse is too lazy or too uptight. Mutual solutions are found when both parties openly express their needs.

What You Should Say When Your Husband Hurts Your Feelings

Your husband can’t read your mind. Telling him directly that you want to see a particular change is your best bet for getting him to stop hurting your feelings. Sadness and anger are two sides of the same coin. With that being said, anger generally makes others retreat in fear while gently sharing sadness invites them to help you. Read More »

Dear Hurting One

Read More » Dear hurting wife one, Your family should not have mistreated you. Your home should be your castle, a place in which you feel safe and protected. A man has violated your trust. Whether it was a relative who abused you or a husband who left you, your pain is unimaginable.

The Five Love Languages on Oprah’s Lifeclass

One year ago this week, I had the privilege of sitting in on the taping of an Oprah Lifeclass in Chicago. Her featured guest was my friend and co-author, Gary Chapman. Here are some ways to use the five love languages to enrich all types of relationships. These are based on Gary Chapman’s “Practically Speaking” articles: Words Of Affirmation

  • Buy a pack of sticky notes. Leave at least one encouraging note a day where your loved one will notice. Comment on something you appreciate about them, something they did, or in relation to who they are. The more specific the message the better. (Relationship: Marriage, Family)
  • Think about a goal, dream, or accomplishment that your loved one may be putting off because they feel inadequate. Use your affirming words to en-courage them (instill courage). Tell them you think they can do it; accomplish it; be it. These simple words could boost their confidence and help them reach their potential. (Relationship: Marriage, Family)

Acts Of Service Read More »

Resolve to Keep Your Marriage on Track in the New Year

What does it take to have happy, healthy relationships? Do you treat your family members as well as you treat others in your life? Maddie is a mother of two grown daughters and one step-son. She and Nathan have been married for 10 years. They have little joy in their marriage but they are committed to staying together for the long haul. Read More »

One Thing That Shatters Trust

Sara is a fifty-something female whose second marriage was in danger of becoming as difficult as her first marriage. She and Jon keep arguing about little things. As I listened to Sara describe their latest blow-up, I heard something all too familiar in life: Her spouse had said he would follow through on a task […]

On Making Things Right With Those You Love

Has a friend sent you a critical message? I call those “email bombs” or “text bombs.” That’s not a fun way to start the day. Is your sweetheart giving you the cold shoulder? I can relate to it all.

Ten years ago, my husband and I had an argument. It was a run of the mill spat, but the timing of the argument was rather embarrassing. You see, we were going to lead a seminar for young couples the following day. What was our lecture topic? Conflict resolution. As they say, “timing is everything,” so we had some fresh material for our class. Read More »