A Research-Backed Perspective on What Actually Helps People Move Forward Emotionally

It’s a familiar feeling: lying awake at night, replaying what someone said—or didn’t say—during a breakup, a divorce, a fight, or even after a traumatic loss. The grief, the anger, the endless “what ifs.” You want to feel better. You want to move on. But emotionally, you’re still stuck.

While time may dull the sharpest edges of pain, emotional healing—true healing—requires more than simply waiting it out. According to clinical psychology and decades of research, there are specific emotional and physiological processes involved in healing from psychological trauma, abuse, loss, and deep interpersonal wounds.

If you’re wondering how to move on emotionally from a breakup, a traumatic event, or a long-standing resentment, this guide offers a research-backed path rooted in forgiveness psychology, mental health, and human connection.

Why Emotional Wounds Linger

Emotional pain can be just as real—and just as debilitating—as physical injury. Neuroscience confirms that areas of the brain associated with physical pain also light up when we experience emotional distress. A broken heart isn’t just a metaphor—it’s a physiological and psychological state of suffering.

Unprocessed grief, shame, guilt, anger, and fear can linger, especially when they’re tied to childhood trauma, verbal abuse, romantic betrayal, loss of a loved one, or domestic violence. If left unaddressed, these emotions can manifest in sleep disturbances, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, or chronic pain.

Many people struggle to move forward because they:

• Never received a sincere apology

• Have internalized blame, shame, or hatred

• Are overwhelmed by rumination or panic attacks

• Lack coping skills or support from a mental health professional

The Science of Emotional Healing

So, what does it really take to heal?

According to forgiveness psychology and psychotherapy, healing requires intentional effort, self-compassion, and—when appropriate—structured interventions like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

Research from institutions like the Wright Institute shows that emotional and spiritual healing occurs when we combine self-awareness with tools that help us tolerate distress, process memory, and reframe harmful thoughts. This process can be slow and nonlinear, often resembling the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Healing is not forgetting. Healing is not minimizing. It’s allowing yourself to integrate the experience without letting it define your worth or future.

Forgiveness: Misunderstood but Essential

Forgiveness is often misunderstood as an act of weakness or as condoning the behavior that caused pain. In reality, forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing. According to experts in forgiveness and psychology, choosing to forgive—when the time is right—reduces emotional reactivity, improves heart rate variability, and even lowers the risk of disease and insomnia.

Dr. Jennifer Thomas, co-author of The 5 Apology Languages™, emphasizes that emotional healing is more likely when a sincere apology matches what the hurt person needs to hear. Often, people remain stuck not because the offense was unforgivable, but because the apology was incomplete—or never came at all.

If you’re dealing with unresolved conflict, divorce, or emotional abuse, forgiveness might not mean reconciliation. Instead, it can mean releasing the burden of resentment and allowing your soul to rest.

How to Move On Emotionally—Even Without Closure

Not every situation offers a satisfying resolution. Whether the person who hurt you has passed away, refuses accountability, or continues to deny their role, you can still heal.

Here’s how to begin:

• Acknowledge the wound. Emotional neglect and psychological abuse are real forms of harm. Therapy or online therapy can help validate your experience.

• Practice grounding techniques. Breathing, meditation, yoga, or exercise activate the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the body’s stress response.

• Journal your thoughts. Explore your inner world through writing. Psychotherapy studies show that expressive writing aids in integrating traumatic memories.

• Engage in somatic practices. Modalities like somatic experiencing focus on releasing trauma stored in the body, particularly after violence, accidents, or emotional trauma.

• Seek support. Find a therapist, join a support group, or explore grief counseling or family therapy. Healing happens faster in the presence of community, empathy, and expert guidance.

Real Healing Takes Real Tools

Moving on emotionally doesn’t mean becoming unbothered. It means becoming whole.

Whether you're recovering from a breakup, addiction, grief, sexual abuse, or childhood neglect, you don’t have to do it alone. Thousands of patients have found hope and peace through the guidance of health professionals, structured coping techniques, and evidence-based therapeutic approaches.

You don’t need to forget what happened. You need to understand it, reframe it, and move forward in a way that aligns with your values and your healing.

Final Thoughts: Healing Is the Goal, Not Perfection

Emotional healing is not a linear journey. Some days you’ll feel strong. Other days you’ll be triggered by a smell, a memory, or a dream. But every step toward acceptance, compassion, and understanding counts.

If you’re struggling to move forward emotionally, know this: there is no shame in asking for help. Whether it’s from a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a therapist, or a trusted caregiver, reaching out is an act of courage—not weakness.

And if you’re searching for language to repair a relationship, rebuild trust, or find peace, The 5 Apology Languages™ offers a proven framework rooted in both research and real-life transformation.

Need help finding the right words—or the right path? Explore more resources on emotional healing and forgiveness psychology at DrJenniferThomas.com. Because you deserve more than survival. You deserve to heal.